Understanding Gaslighting in the Workplace

Gaslighting – the word itself may bring to mind images of flickering candles and eerie Victorian houses, but modern-day gaslighting has nothing to do with spooky mansions. Instead, it’s much closer to the flickering computer screens in our offices, where gaslighting has found a cozy little corner to thrive. Now, let’s not get all melodramatic, but when your colleague starts to make you question your sanity over that simple office memo, you might just be a victim of the grand office mind game – gaslighting.

Imagine this: You’re sitting at your desk, minding your own business, when your boss walks over with that “we need to talk” face. “Hey, didn’t you receive my email about the quarterly report? I sent it last week,” they say, casually hinting that you’re as organized as a closet with hangers from the 90s. You scratch your head. An email? What email? You search through the digital labyrinth of your inbox, half-convinced that you’ve suddenly become incapable of handling basic correspondence. Then, your boss pulls off the classic gaslighter move: “Well, maybe you just missed it. You tend to do that sometimes, don’t you?” And voila, your world tilts. Are you really that scatterbrained, or did they just do a magic trick with your mental state?

Gaslighting in the workplace is a real thing. It’s like watching a bad reality TV show where the producer keeps whispering in your ear, “Are you sure you know what’s happening?” And the worst part? It’s scripted to make you look like the fool. But let’s break down what happens when gaslighting takes a stroll through your office. Picture your colleague saying, “I never said that,” when they very clearly did – probably during that Monday morning meeting when you were half-awake, sipping on cold coffee. Or when they insist that “everyone agrees” you’re not pulling your weight, despite your 12-hour workdays.

Gaslighting is not just a mild misunderstanding; it’s a way of surviving for some! Gaslighters have a highest degree in twisting narratives. They’ll say things like, “Oh, you’re being too sensitive” when you call out their behavior, as if you were the one who packed your feelings in a suitcase labeled ‘Fragile.’ They’ll use phrases like, “That’s not what I meant,” “You’re overreacting,” or the crowd favorite, “I was just joking!” Of course, when you point out the humorless joke that somehow made you look like a moron in front of the entire team, you’re the one left wondering if you’re the party pooper.

Let’s not forget the group gaslighting sessions in the infamous “team huddle.” Here, the gaslighter goes public. “Remember when you dropped the ball on that project?” they declare in front of everyone, rewriting history while you frantically flip through your mental scrapbook. You remember things differently – you actually had backup plans, worked late nights, and managed things down to the wire. But now, you’re standing there with your mouth slightly open, silently screaming, “When did this happen?” This is the brilliance of workplace gaslighting. It’s like they’re running an alternate reality TV show, and you’re cast as the confused contestant.

Why does this happen, you might ask? Well, because some people have mastered the ability to rearrange the facts as easily as they rearrange their excuses for skipping meetings. Gaslighting creates confusion and self-doubt, which makes you more vulnerable to manipulation. And guess what? It works! Suddenly, you’re doubting if you’re really competent enough for your job, if you’re perhaps just a tad bit… clueless. Oh, the delicious irony.

But wait – it gets better. There’s the “I don’t recall that” gaslighting. It’s a crowd-pleaser among managers who want to shirk responsibility for their own decisions. “Oh, did I approve that? Hmm, I don’t recall saying that. Are you sure you’re not making this up?” And just like that, your hard-earned confidence in your role gets zapped away faster than Wi-Fi on a stormy day. You’re left questioning whether you’re living in a workplace soap opera where plotlines change without your consent.

But before you spiral into self-doubt, let’s add a touch of humor to this madness. What’s one way to deal with workplace gaslighting? Embrace it – not in a defeatist way, but in a “I see what you’re doing” kind of way. When the office gaslighter pulls the classic “Are you sure that’s what happened?” line, give them the nod of the century. Smile, and say, “Oh, I see! It’s my mind playing tricks on me again. Classic Monday!” Throw a bit of sarcasm into the mix. You’ll be surprised how quickly they stumble. Gaslighters thrive on your confusion and passivity; they crumble when faced with confident sarcasm.

The next time they say, “Everyone agrees you’re the issue here,” look around with a wide-eyed wonder, “Oh, really? Did we conduct a survey? I must have missed that email!” Give them a taste of their own reality-twisting medicine. Not only does this lighten the situation, but it also shines a spotlight on the absurdity of their tactics.

But in all seriousness, gaslighting in the workplace can be damaging. It chips away at your self-esteem, distorts your perception of reality, and can make you dread the sight of your own inbox. The key is to stay aware. Document conversations, keep records of agreements, and don’t be afraid to push back with facts. Remember, in the sitcom of your office life, you’re not the bumbling fool. You’re the witty lead character who sees through the flimsy plots of the gaslighting sidekicks.

So, when gaslighting comes knocking at your cubicle door, take a deep breath, put on your mental armor of wit, and remind yourself: you’re not losing your mind; you’re just navigating the reality-warping games of the workplace. And who knows? One day, you might just turn those gaslighting encounters into a hilarious anecdote at a future job – where gaslighting is as extinct as dial-up internet.