Navigating a boss who plays favorites can feel like walking through a minefield while juggling flaming torches. It’s a delicate balance of staying true to yourself, maintaining professionalism, and not letting your frustration boil over. Having spent 12 years in the banking sector, I’ve seen this scenario play out countless times, both in branches and at administrative levels. These alleged powerhouses of influence, often intoxicated by their perceived ability to transform lives simply because they hold a position in a government undertaking, can make life interesting, to say the least.

Favoritism is an open secret in many workplaces, and accepting its existence is the first step to navigating it. Emotions and egos are often at the heart of this behavior, and understanding how to manage these elements is crucial. Here’s a practical guide to help you sail through these choppy waters:

1. Assess Objectively

First and foremost, take a step back and assess the situation objectively. It’s easy to let emotions cloud your judgment, but try to view the favoritism through an impartial lens. Is the favoritism blatant, or is it a series of small, subtle actions? Understanding the extent of the favoritism can help you plan your response.

In my years in banking, I’ve seen everything from overt favoritism, like certain employees getting the prime posting of their choice, to more subtle signs, like preferential project assignments. Objectivity will help you decide whether you need to take action or just let it slide.

2. Build Relationships

Building strong relationships with your peers and colleagues is essential. You don’t want to become a yes man, but having allies can make a significant difference. Genuine relationships are built on mutual respect and shared goals, not just shared complaints about the boss.

I remember a time when a colleague and I, both feeling sidelined by favoritism, decided to work on it together. Our combined efforts not only produced outstanding results but also earned us recognition, which, ironically, caught the boss’s attention. It was a win-win, and it strengthened our professional bond, but up to certain extent.

3. Enhance Performance

Sometimes, the best way to counter favoritism is to make yourself indispensable. Enhance your performance, take on challenging tasks, and demonstrate your value. Excellence often speaks louder than complaints.

In my experience, outperforming the favorites without stepping on their toes is a subtle art. It’s about quietly excelling and letting your work do the talking. When your contributions are undeniable, even the most biased boss will have to acknowledge your worth.

4. Support Teammates

Support your teammates and seek support when needed. Creating a supportive environment can help mitigate the negative effects of favoritism. When everyone feels valued, the boss’s favoritism becomes less impactful.

I recall a period when our branch faced a challenging audit. The usual favorites were struggling, and it was the supposedly “less favored” team members who stepped up to ensure everything went smoothly up to a certain point. Of course, we didn’t survive the audit but at least it was clear that there was a genuine support pouring in from all corners.

5. Seek Mentorship

Talk about your situation with your mentors. They can provide valuable insights and advice on how to navigate favoritism. They might have faced similar challenges and can share strategies that worked for them.

I’ve had mentors who’ve been in the banking sector longer than I’ve been alive, and their wisdom has been invaluable. One piece of advice that stuck with me was, “Focus on what you can control, and don’t waste energy on what you can’t.” This helped me stay cantered and proactive.

6. Control Emotions

Emotions and egos play a significant role in favoritism. Learning to control your emotions is crucial. It’s easy to feel resentment or frustration, but letting those feelings control your actions can be detrimental.

There was a time when a particularly favored colleague received undue praise for a project I had significantly contributed to. Instead of letting my frustration fester, I used it as fuel to double down on my efforts. In the end, my consistent performance spoke louder than any momentary favoritism.

7. Here’s What Else to Consider

• Understand the Temporary Nature: Remember, bosses come and go. The favoritism you’re experiencing now might not last forever. Focus on your long-term goals and career trajectory.
• Document Your Work: Keep records of your contributions and achievements. This can be helpful if you ever need to present your case to higher management or HR.
• Stay Professional: No matter how tempting it might be to confront the boss or the favorites, maintain your professionalism. Taking the high road can often lead to better outcomes.
• Look for Growth Opportunities Elsewhere: If the favoritism becomes unbearable and starts affecting your mental health, it might be time to look for opportunities in other departments or even outside the organization.

Navigating favoritism isn’t easy, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can maintain your integrity and continue to thrive. In my 12 years in the banking sector, I’ve learned that while favoritism can be disheartening, it doesn’t have to define your career. Focus on what you can control, build strong relationships, and always strive for excellence. Remember, your career is a marathon, not a sprint, and there’s plenty of room to outlast any favoritism thrown your way.